One minute after you’re born, your perception of a lifetime is only one minute. A year from now, you will have lived 525949 lifetimes of a 1-minute-old. Break that down to seconds, and it’s even more. In a sense, we have all lived forever already.
Maybe this is why youth is so important. The love you feel for one minute as a child means so much more to you than it does in adulthood. So does the hate and the neglect.
Take care of your youth.
That we shame hoarders and fat people but we glorify those that are gratuitously wealthy?
Having a sense of awe is an important factor in being in love. Every time I’ve “been in love”, I could only describe it as sublime. That’s what people mean when they’re “swept off their feet” or “head over heels”. You almost can’t believe that it’s happening to you – like going to Disneyland for the first time as a kid or being stopped in your tracks by hearing your favorite song. Initially, there was always something surprising about each girl that made her stick out to me. Without that feeling of awe, you are only left with sexual attraction or at best, deep friendship. This thought informs the way I operate when it comes to relationships.
I don’t make lists – those ridiculous lists like “She has to be over 5’ but under 5’5” because she has to fit perfectly in the crook of my neck, and she needs to make more than $40,000 a year, and she has to like The Smiths.” Lists are for people scared of the unknown, being alone, and of not being in control of the outcome. To me, these are essential for love.
A perfect mate should transcend qualifiers. Perfection in the sense of a list makes that person a neatly machined cube, whereas without the list, that person is allowed to be a work of Modern art, appealing to me in a barely comprehensible, paradoxical way.
To that person that I will eventually meet: I look forward to the ways you’ll mystify me and give me new perspective. Right now, you are unfathomable, but nothing excites me more than the chance to feebly try to grasp that. I hope that the person I’m becoming until we meet will bewilder you also.
Invest in friendships in many (and vastly) different groups of people. Eventually, you will change and the people around you will change. Many will cease to be your friends or at best, they will remain acquaintances. Not only will your friends start dropping off, entire groups of friends will also. But the more different kinds of people you surround yourself with, the better you will be at finding those that will stick with you for the rest of your life despite your differences. These are the friends that may not talk to you for weeks at a time but when you get back together, everything will be as normal. The interval will seem like nothing. It’s the same feeling as family.
Growing up, I made a huge mistake (granted, inadvertently). 99% of my friends at the time identified with a specific group of people and set of values. Years later, I experienced a paradigm shift and now, I’m only close with 1% of these friends. I’ve made other very close friends since then, but it’s bizarre to see how things change.
Today I had lunch with my family. I talked for a good 30 mins with my little cousin, Jolie, about a whole plethora of things: Legoland, Disneyland, dogs, cats, how early she has to wake up for school, snack-sharing at recess, jousting, how she really wanted to go to the pool for four days but didn’t have the time to, etc. She’s at the stage where kids can talk about everything and anything for hours, and it made me really happy to just sit there and listen. I felt really good that someone felt safe and comfortable enough with me to blab my ear off.
Children are filled with so much curiosity, awe, and enthusiasm. I think if more of us could approach the world with that same attitude, life would be more interesting. When did we all become so closed off? Why is it so hard for us to share with each other openly all of those things that make us excited? Sometimes, when I look at “grownups”, myself included, I see people filled with fear – fear of each other and what people will think.
Anyways, chatting and playing Angry Birds with my cousin was definitely the highlight of my day.
I’m going to speak very candidly. I don’t do this often.
Things that happened to me at a very young age have had a profound effect on my personality. Here’s one that I just realized. Let me tell you about Marissa.
You know how the stereotype is that boys don’t start noticing girls until puberty? Yeah, that wasn’t true for me. My first girlfriend was Marissa and we were in love – we were the cutest damn 5 year old couple. At recess we played together, we took nap time together (scandalous), held hands no doubt, and she gave me my first kiss. We were made for each other.
Somewhere along the line, though, my little 5 year old brain decided that I wasn’t so interested in Marissa anymore. Maybe she was too clingy or I wanted to try other prospects or whatever. Regardless, I had to tell her.
I remember it like yesterday. We were on the playground and I walk up to her anxiously:
Marissa, I have to tell you something… I don’t like you anymore.
She looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes. I didn’t know what else to say. She took off across the playground running, crying. I stood there and something happened inside of me.
Thus began my lucrative career as a heartbreaker. No, that’s not true at all. I think it actually fucked me up a bit. After that, I never wanted to hurt someone like that again. Ever since, I’ve always taken relationships very seriously. She was my best friend at the time so I lost a friend and a lover. I learned not to be so callous with girls’ emotions.
Fast forward 20 years. Karma sure got its revenge. I’ve been left, rejected, and friend-zoned several countless times since, while all I wanted was to try to make things work. Subconsciously, I think I wanted what I had with Marissa. It was innocent and genuine. No pretense.
I’m beginning to realize that my position on relationships is a bit disabling when most women around my age aren’t looking for serious relationships. They want “casual” and “fun”. No commitment. All I want is to be with someone and not have to let go of her. It’s fundamental for me. Not that I wouldn’t be able to break up with someone if I had to, but I would fight tooth and nail to make things work before it came to that. I don’t think I’m a “hopeless romantic” neither am I “clingy”, but for me, a devoted relationship is crucial in order to achieve a certain kind of happiness.
Not sure why I’m writing all this. I suppose I’m trying to come to terms with sneaking loneliness.
It would appear I’m no one’s cup of tea. Tea is well-liked by millions of people around the world.
Hopefully, I’m someone’s cup of black scalding hot fuckin bitter coffee.
Where are you, beautiful, elusive woman with seared taste buds?
I had just taken a shower and finished shaving when I heard this knock at the front door. It was a really urgent knock followed by the doorbell – one of those “Hurry the fuck up and answer the door” double-taps. My mom had left the house not 10 minutes earlier so thinking it was her, I walked over (shirtless and probably smelling like sunshine) and opened the door. To my shock was a man from the Edward Jones investment company here to talk to me about retirement.
I stood there and had the most awkward conversation of my life for a good five minutes. The conversation itself wasn’t awkward and rather quite friendly – he asked if I was from here and what I do, etc.
I could see he was very uncomfortable. I don’t blame him though. Imagine trying to talk about investments with a shirtless man in cutoff jean shorts (yes, I was wearing cutoff jean shorts. It’s my house, I can wear whatever I want). When I started to think about what was going on I almost laughed in his face. I think that whole situation would have ended a lot quicker if I had just either checked to see who it was or answered the door with, “I’m ready.”
It always boggles me when a design incorporates 2 unrelated visual languages (take Constructivism mixed with Illuminati imagery) for something that neither are related to. I just… dont… I don’t know.
What, are we talking about Socialism here? or the New World Order? or social justice? I’m confused.
My boss is playing super epic movie music on full blast. I feel like my office should be on a windy seaside cliff with rays of sun shooting over the horizon as eagles fly over.
What is the fundamental thing you would want the most important person in your life to understand about you?
My dad spent 20 min watering the lawn. 10 min later, it rains.
Mom: Jay!
Me: Yeah?
Mom: Okay, I give you choice.
Me: ……..
Mom: Either wash dishes or cook.
Me: I’ll cook.
Mom: YAYYY
Me: >_>
Mom: I’d rather wash dishes.
Who prefers washing dishes to cooking?! Works for me, I guess.
I’ve been spending the past couple days here in California packing three years of my life up. It was pretty tough at times and I now have a lot of loans to pay back, but was it worth it?
I’ve found myself amongst some of the coolest, most interesting people I’ll ever meet. They’re now some of my closest friends. We might end up in different corners of the world and I may potentially never see some of them again, but I believe we will keep that sense of camaraderie for the rest of our lives. The all-nighters, taco runs, bad teachers, drunken nights, and neighbor’s-anger-inciting laughter made for some great memories.
And this house… In the past three years, so many people have come and gone, but I’ve been here the entire time. Whenever I came back to California, it never felt foreign. When I got here a week ago, I lay on my bed and thought to myself, “I’m home.” This house felt like MY house. Not my parent’s house or some place I was just staying at for college. It’s seen so many crazy nights like I mentioned before, and I’ve been there for practically all of them. It’s bizarre to think that I won’t be here for any more.
I feel very grateful for this experience. While I’ve made mistakes and found myself in a pretty dark place at times, I don’t mind. I gained relationships, a great education, life lessons, and memories. Wouldn’t want to trade that for anything. Thanks, California.
As much as I like to look at yachts, mansions, and $10,000 watches, I feel like none of it is relevant to me. Therefore, I stopped following Where is the Cool. With the amount of exotic locales and buxom blondes that they post, I get the impression that the blog is meant for gentrified, upper-class, white males – of which I am none. Well except for male. Basically, this blog is for someone living on the Newport Coast, the Hamptons, Beverley Hills, etc. I suppose it doesn’t help knowing that the guy that runs it (if i remember correctly) is from Newport Beach. It wouldn’t bug me so much save the fact that my dash is basically spammed with this stuff all day. No, thanks very much.
Hawaii/California-based graphic designer and photographer and this is my archive of inspiration and opinion.
I'm not Jewish or a werewolf, but my name is Jacob.
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